Why Don’t You Love Me??? – Beyonce Asked First

Sounds thirsty and as my best friend calls it “PATHETIC”. Haha I know, I know. It’s a legit question though. I’m a virgo and supposedly this is what we do. We want to pin point problems and solve them. Problem solvers of the world such as Beyonce and…she’s enough to prove my point of how amazing and productive we can be.

I’m distant and I don’t fully show emotions. I’ll be so happy and so hype and it doesn’t show through my face or body language. I’ve been told this numerous times, so…I guess it may be worth looking into so I don’t block God’s movement in my life.

You ever dated someone who made you finally take a brick down off your wall? Not the whole wall, but at least a brick? For me, that’s a lot. I don’t trust people fully. Especially someone I’m dating. Once you get burned enough, it’s hard to not compare him to the rest. Always aware that someone could hurt me or surprise me. My first real relationship showed me that.

I don’t want to miss out on blessings and growth because of being afraid to be seen as who I am or exposed to being hurt. I have silly fears of being seen without makeup and him scowling, or seeing my scars or imperfections and him running. A man can’t fix those…only I can. I have to find the love for myself so I don’t seek it out of a man. I don’t need validation because I know how beautiful I am in and out.

I want to grow in this area but it’s one of my weakest. To be insecure and it be seen. Hardest thing ever, even with someone you love. I am a firm believer in what’s meant to be will be. So even if I delay my love with the right person, God still had it written in our will.

Let’s keep working on this and I pray for peace of mind during this journey, it’s a hard one.

Word of the Blog: Song of Solomon 4:7…pretty awesome.

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