Pride aka the Maybelline of our lives. Man she’s trifling.
She is a mean heifer that makes us think we are better with her than without her. Pride will have you in the hospital because you don’t want to say that something is wrong with you. Pride will create a space in a friendship that wasn’t once there. Pride will have you lonely because you could never express your feelings because looking weak is not for you boo. Now you don’t have a boo. Ironic right.
Every relationship I got into, I had too much pride. Too much pride to show my flaws, too much pride to share how insecure I felt when the makeup and wig fell off. Lol Just too much. I didn’t want to be the one who loved first. I didn’t want to be the one who was always missing him while he was too busy running businesses. My “home boy” knows about that.
I have been Saul many times in my life. Saul was a straight up hater who thought his pride was more important than anything. Man I want to get my David on. Awesome and humble. He had his flaws but he didn’t let his fan love go to his head when he was waiting on God to have everything fall into place to obtain the will that was laid out for him. He legit had spears thrown at him by someone who spoke like he had affection for this man. He was still down for him and his family. Humility at best.
I want to share something I rarely do. When I hit rock bottom.
Honestly I can barely remember the year that it happened. Sometime between 20 and 23 years of age. I moved out of my parents’ house because I was messing up and my dad called me out on it. When your head is the size of a water tower, you sometimes think you can’t be told about yourself. I got upset and decided to move out. I was messing up in school, I was trying to be grown and he wasn’t having that. I packed some stuff and jolted. I stayed with friends, then went and got my stuff when they were at work and left.
I struggled. I will break down the struggle a bit further on another blog, but I have to say…I really struggled. I lived in my car, and lived in a house with no electricity. I drove around with expired tags and sometimes washed myself with a jug of water outside my car. I was surfing some serious sofas because of God having favor upon my life. I could have been in a family or around friends that didn’t care. But God…I had friends who helped me out and gave me a sofa to sleep on in Indiana all the way to Ohio. Realize this isn’t because I had to. If I called my parents, this all would have ended. This is because of pride. She ain’t right!!
A Mcdonald’s Nugget of advice: It’s ok to be wrong. It’s ok for your face to be seen under the makeup and Maybelline…or L’Oreal, whatever you prefer. However, don’t be stupid and feel like you are alone or can’t bounce back from a fail. Fun part is, the fail is where your wisdom tree sprouts. A wisdom tree just full of nuggets!
Blog Word of the Day: 1 Samuel 18…my slow butt had to read this two days to get the message out of it, so it’s ok if you have to reread her. She’s worth it.